Giving Everything...

I feel like being creative and so I am going to a write a little something.

Something that the Lord put on my heart from our Sunday church sermon.

You can’t be born again and feel less than. You cannot have a less than attitude and help others.

Seriously those are some powerful words.

It totally makes sense though if you keep an open heart and pray about it. Don’t think about it with your head, but pray about it with your heart, you’ll see what I mean.

We cannot be born again and still feel worthless.

When we are truly born again spirit filled we are filled with the Holy Spirit. If we have the Holy Spirit in our new heart there is no way for us to feel less than. But so many of us don’t ask for a new heart so we just add on to our old heart, and expect us to be ok.

We cannot just add on God.

It doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t work that way. We have to truly give up everything in us to be born again spirit filled.

So many I know walk around wondering who they are supposed to be. First of all who and what gives you that right to even think that you are the one that plans out your life. You may make your choices, but it doesn’t mean that it’s the plan that you are supposed to have.

God says He has a plan for us and it is good and not evil.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

All we have to do is pray and ask Him to direct us in the way that He wants us to go.

So if God has a plan for us that is good and not evil than why do we still choose to do our own thing? Why do we keep insisting that we can do a better job than God?

Oh I know it’s because not all of us believe in God. Because we are entitled to what we think is best for our life because after all it is OUR life…or is it? Because not all of us care about what He thinks. It’s because He gave us free will to make that choice right?

Well I can’t say whether you are right or wrong or me for that matter. But what I do know in my heart is that you can’t add on God. You can’t keep your old heart and old ways of life and call yourself born again. It’s not the way it works. God doesn’t work that way. How do I know that? Because He speaks to me. He speaks to my heart. I know He is my Father in heaven and on earth. He is the one who created me and gave me life. He is the one in charge of my life.

My life is in His hands and I wouldn’t want anyone else to have it; not even me.

I don’t believe that because He told me His plan for my life. Ha! I wish it were that easy, but it’s because I have faith in Him. I have faith in the Bible. I have faith in my Pastor and in what he is teaching us.

My faith shall be my eyes.

I live on faith.

Faith to me, is believing without seeing. I don’t have to see God to know that He exists. I can feel Him in my heart and soul. I know He lives through me. I know that He has me in his hands and no one can take me away.

I make mistakes still yes. I am still human after all. But I don’t let them run my life and make me feel less than. I dust the dirt off my hands and knees and I reach my hands up to heaven and I ask the Lord to help me and guide me and put me back on His path and plan. I am humble. I give my pride back to Him and ask for His humility. I ask for His help.

Apart from Me you can do nothing.

(John 15:5)

It has taken me many years to get where I am today. And trust me I didn’t get here because it was my plan or my idea. I got here because I trusted the Lord to do what He wanted to do with my life.

He took me to a point where I felt broken, battered and bruised.

Emotionally

Physically

Mentally

And most of all

Spiritually

He took me to my broken place; and from there the healing process started and it’s still going.

Doesn’t mean I accepted it from day one and welcomed it with open arms. I mean making that kind of change is scary, hard, and stressful. But you have to have faith and trust that the Lord will take care of you. That His plan is the greatest of all. That without Him your life is nothing and you are less than, but having the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit living in you, you will be worth more than gold!

You may become the most successful person in the world and still feel empty and alone. You may finally have the title that you’ve always wanted and longed for but it’s not the title that God has for you: a child of God.

If it is not from Him you will always feel empty and still long for something more. So let Him into your heart and let Him give you a new heart in exchange for your old one. Give up your life to Him.

2 Corinthians 5:15-17

And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

What have you got to lose? Nothing. What have you got to gain? Everything!

When I do die I am not going to go down as feeling less than but as the child of God because that is what He calls us all to be.

A child of God.

Are you one?

Let us see...shall we...

So lots has been going on.

Some good. Some bad. Some sad.

But always in Gods will.

I'm getting the urge to write some more,
so I will get to it tomorrow.

Been a long good day.
And I am tired.

Will write more in the morning.

Cheerio!

Sad Sad Sad

On March 11, 2010 at 3AM the world lost an amazing person.
Alicia Renee Carreras died while on her way home.

This a true tragedy. One that I wish I could wake up from.

She will be greatly missed. She was only 20 years and had
so much to offer.
She was going places and was going to be someone.

But to those of us who already knew her she was someone:
a daughter, granddaughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend.

She was always so full of life and determination.
So happy and joyful to be around.

Always optimistic.
Always had her game face on and was ready to
challenge the world!

I am going to miss her so much.

But like she said and knew, "Everything happens for
a reason."

God has bigger plans for you girl. Bigger than
anything down here.

So put your game face on once again and do us proud!
Because I know that's what we all are gonna do for you.

Make sure you save us a place up there. Because I know God
has a special place for you.

We love you and miss you and i still cant honestly
believe you are gone.

It feels so surreal.

But i know one day I will see you again, I'm gonna make
sure of it.

Love you Alicia. I will never forget. Always and forever Cousin.

Started but not finished...

Have you ever just wanted to write, but you were unsure of what? That you feel you could write a billion page...whatever, but when you get the pencil to the paper you have no idea what to write, or all the ideas that you had have some how been erased from your memory. For me that is a personal pet peeve. Happens all the time.

I have this weird collection of notebooks that are written about halfway through. I start stuff but don't always finish it.

I have countless stories that are started but not even close to being done. Poems that have a great start but no end. Not sure why I do this.

I like to collect notebooks. I have like a huge mess of them. I buy notebooks with a purpose to journal, write short stories, doodle, capture my dreams, you know things like that. I start to do well with them in the beginning, but than I just stop. Or i lose it. Or i forget about it. Or i see another notebook that captures my eye and I see a whole new purpose for that notebook.

I like keeping them to look back on. When I find an old notebook, or a whole mess of them, I think of them as my own personal time capsual. I can sit for hours reading through them. Depending on what I find I like to share what I wrote or what I was feeling at that time in my life.

Notebooks are my "eye of the beholder". If you read something out of my notebooks you see so many different parts of me.

Some can be just silly and stupid or serious and meaningful. Just like my notebooks, my writings too have a purpose. Sometimes it's my only way of communication. I'm a visual person so seeing what I want to say before I say it helps alot in many different situations...

Tuesday

Oh its a balmy Tuesday.

kiddo is still a bit sick.

but his energy is slowly coming back so lets hope he knocks

out this cold this week.

Well guess its back to the daily grind for me.

Here We Go!...

Now that my laptop is up and running, kind of, I am now gonna start a Blog.
Nothing in particular, just this that and the other.

I have lots to say and lots to share.

Some things personal. Some things just because. And some things just for fun.

So sit down, shut up and enjoy the ride.